Just point me in the right direction (literally please)

Those of you who know me, and I mean really know me (because this thing I'm about to tell the world I usually keep to myself until it's really obvious) will know that I have a lack of sense of direction. Ok, that's a bit of an understatement. I get lost nearly everywhere I go. Some people seem to be born with a central navigation system pre-installed in their brain, they know where they are, which way North is, where the coastline is etc. HOW DO THEY KNOW THAT?? Apparently I had that system un-installed at birth, not even getting a chance to understand what it's like to be able to confidently say, "it's ok, we'll just go this way!" and take A DIFFERENT ROUTE.

I may be getting ahead of myself here. I will give you an example of this brain malfunction and how I 'deal' with it in daily life. Now thankfully, as technology has advanced, getting lost is a (slightly) rarer thing for me. With the ability to get sat nav if I drive, and google maps on my iphone, I'm pretty much ok with local stuff. It's really when I REALLY don't know where I am, or when I think I might actually know where I'm going. That's it - that's where I fall down. When I think I'm in control. So, to last Thursday.

I have recently started going to Boxersice classes (Groupon: £4 for 6 lessons? Bargain!) in Hove. This consists of an hour of boxing, kickboxing and general circuit training TORTURE that I keep dragging my sorry (slightly smaller) behind to every week. I cycle there and back, because a) It's quicker and b) By the time I get home I'm so exhausted I feel incredibly smug and good about myself.
So usually I go on Tuesdays, and I know where I'm going. Along the seafront, up into Hove and the hall is on Church road. Easy! Then I decided to try another class on Thursdays. Mistake #1.
I find the postcode, pop it into my clever little iphone, and off I go. I must have stopped a few times on my way to the postcode destination but I successfully arrived at the little red pin on my phone. Unfortunately, the little red pin appeared to be a very large cricket ground, with no sign of the hall 'on the corner' of the cricket ground as the direction had told me at all. There were, however, a lot of cars. And cricket players. And more cars. There's me, kitted up for heavy sweating, pushing my basket-ed bicycle across muddy, lumpy ground and the old bloke who asked me what I was doing was no help at all (and looked thoroughly confused when I tried to explain what boxersice was). Dejected, I turned around, considered going home, before discovering the hall back down the road I had come up. Sweet.

One sweaty hour later.

"Yes, yes, I know where I'm going - don't worry! I'll see you in 15, get the kettle on." I says to him.
Off I whizz, down the road, down the road, over the traffic lights - SINGING no less with the joy of not feeling like I want to die after my 4th class - when I realise I have no idea where I am. No bother! Check the map. Oops! Wrong way, should have turned off back up the road. Turn around, whizz back the way I've just come and find the road I'm looking for. But wait - the road goes both directions - do I turn left or right? I choose left. Mistake #2.
Cycling... cycling... ('ouch' say my thighs, piss off home will you) where am I now? Oh YES, I've found Church road, finally somewhere I recognise! Just follow Church road and it turns into Western road and I'm back in Brighton. Weeeeeeeeee!!

.....


I don't recognise these shops. Or these shops. Check the map. (Turns out I can now look at my phone while cycling, the drivers love that) I'M GOING THE WRONG WAY DOWN CHURCH ROAD - BACK INTO HOVE. Somehow, I manage to go, not just the wrong way, but the direct opposite way to where I actually want to go EVERYTIME. Turn my bike around. Find the seafront. Found the seafront. I'm bloody miles away, but at least I'm pointing in the right direction.

A lot longer than 15 minutes later, I arrive home damp (did I mention it was rainy, windy, misty and cold that night? No?) knackered and I'm going to be honest, a bit miserable. M pointed out I should have set my phone to 'directions' and turned the blue line on rather than trying to read the map without a line.

But how will I ever get better at this game?