21 going on 31

The Day I Realised I was Old

And It Was Ok.

Went out to Blue Rooms in Bath last night for John's birthday. We lasted about 2 hours, before John had started DJing and we left just as our friends turned up in one big, drunk group.

We had sat, we had drank drinks and chatted chat and then we got tired and had to work today so went home to bed.

We're 21 years old.

This hurt. I realised in one of those swirly, head hurting, vacuum type moment that we are so young and so old at the same time. M and I have been together for over four years and we live an incredibly happy, domestic life where we cook and I clean and we do our own coursework and make films. It's gorgeous, but it's about ten years before our time.

We live like a married couple in our 30s. We rarely go out, our socialising consists of going to the local pub and having people over for supper. Lovely, but lame.

But is it lame? I'm happy. So happy. Happier than I've ever been in my whole life 'cos finally I belong with someone who is closer to me than I am. We fit, it's that simple.

So now it's just a matter of waiting for our friends to catch up with us I guess. I worried and worried and then I talked to Oli at Paintworks and he said he has been in exactly the same position. He met his Mrs when they were 16 and went all through college and uni together. Now they're married and expecting a baby. Their friends are just catching up.

So be it. I'm happy, I've just got to wait for everything to find what I've found.

How to become the woman I want to be..

I hate exercising. Always have. Playing games, walking, hiking, swimming, anything that involves a teeny amount of interaction with other people or getting from a-b is fine. But THE GYM is evil. But, as we must, especially after Christmas and trying to cram as much of my Mum's home cooking into my stomach as is physically possible, I went to THE GYM.
I think the main problem I have is that it's so bloody boring. No matter how cool and upbeat my ipod is, all I actually look at is the clock counting down the seconds for when I can stop running on the dreaded treadmill. Or I look at my wobbling legs and try to imagine how, if I ran for longer, they might not wobble as much. Either/or... whatever.
Anyway, today's session on the mill ended pretty quickly as I realised there was a legs bums and tums class about to start. My GYM is basically just one room with mirrors and the machines are round the edge. Its also a women's only GYM. So there I am, just about remaining upright on the mill when a load of women start to gather. I figured I'd join in, I want to get my legs to stop wobbling right? So I join the class and realise very quickly that the teacher, unlike my Pilates teacher who is just lovely and kind and sweet, this teacher is MEAN. She wouldn't let us wimp out, and I pride myself on wimping out. No, really the class was great, I sweated buckets and my legs are killing me, so it must be good. Right?
Anyway.

Going to work tonight so that'll be a whole 'nother work out cos the restaurent is made of stairs.
I hope its worth it, I thought exercising was supposed to make you feel good?

This and That, So Far

I meant this blog to be a record of the last few months at Uni and therefore, the last few months of nice before the Real World begins.

So, so far, on the job front, nothing much. But I have got my cables down, my seeds sown, my feelers out, tenticles a-searching etc etc. Walk Tall Media have said they'll meet with me but work experience MIGHT be available, maybe. Nic has kindly agreed to give my CV to Touch Productions, I have signed up with WorkinTV although filling out their little CV form thing was incredbly uninspiring and frankly, quite depressing. Having to catergorise myself and tick boxes and stuff is... quite sad.

The main problem I have, that a lecturer I was talking to today pointed out, is that I don't really know what area of production I want to go into. Feature films would be amazing, but I feel that's sort of a dream I will never reach, not wanting to go London an' all.. TV would be great, although if I got stuck on something like Deal or No Deal or Big Brother I might just shoot myself. News, not so much.. but equally I'd be very happy in radio. Which one?? I figured I'd go in for anything, but if anyone actually asks me.. maybe I could say 'feature films would be the dream but I'd be very happy in TV' Does that sound on top of things enough? With the lecturer today I think my initial reaction when he asked was that sound that might be 'I dunno' if you squished it all together. 'Eyeaoh'. Oy.

I shouldn't really be worrying, I've still got 5 months until graduation. That's ages! Especially as I'm starting now. Right?

On a more domestic note, M and I are going to Paris for the weekend from 29th-2nd Feb and I am SO excited! Never been before, all I want to do is walk, look, eat and drink. Take it all in and then sleep somewhere cosy and romantic. Haven't found anywhere in our price range and nice yet, but we've got the tickets and the insurance and we'll find somewhere eventually.

Did you have a nice Christmas?