Christmas joys

Last night it snowed. Last night M and I danced under the street light lighing up the thick heavy flakes that were settling around us and we kissed in the cold, the snow gently falling on her hair, coats and eyelashes.
Last night we watched Bobbi discover the snow. He walked across the patio taking long strides, leaving tiny paw prints stretched too far making him look, frankly, really silly.

Today I make thousands of star shaped Christmas cookies to give as presents. I only ate two, and one was burnt anyway.
Today I listened to radio one from 10am onwards and cried when Greg James played his 'best of the radio' which was Terry Wogan saying goodbye to his listeners on his last ever show. I don't even like him, but damn the speech was good.

Today I had to go to my local cake decoration shop (yes, that's right) and buy more snowy white icing to go on my cookies. I had the correct change and the shop owner called me a 'good girl'. I felt warm and fuzzy inside.

I love my days off.

Today

Today I laughed a customer and simultaneously realised my job undermines my intelligence, yet again. When I say I laughed at her, I was actually laughing AT her, definitely not with her. Picture the scene: We have run out of stock of catnip pet toys. More specifically, mouse,fish and bird shaped cat nip filled fabric toy things for your cat. These things sell faster than hot cakes on a cold day. We had 400 delivered on Wednesday. We were sold out on Saturday. All day Sunday I had to literally break people's hearts by telling them, no, we don't have any until next week.
Today, for the thousandth time, a woman came in asking for said product. Because it had got to the point in the afternoon where I was hysterical/delirious/beyond caring, I laughed when she said 'Well I find this utterly unacceptable! It is absolutely ridiculous!' and ranted for a while in a very posh angry voice. I laughed, because yes, Madam, it is ridiculous that so many people can get SO upset over cat toys.

This is my job. I have to tell people over and over and over again we are out of stock of things they want, but do not need. Imagine being a doctor and having to tell people they're ill or going to die?

I can't take the strain.

So when I got home, I did the washing up, put a cake in the oven, pre-made supper and poured myself and M a gin. Ahhhhh..... and thanked my lucky (purple and gold Christmas themed) stars that Bobbi isn't interested in catnip toys. 'Cos the owners turn into nutters. Or as I like to call them, nippers.

Favourite food

Recently have made self-observation. Regardless of whether am ill, sad, alone etc. My favourite comfort foods also happen to be the same foods that I adored as a child. Observe.

• Peanut butter and jam sandwiches, with a glass o' milk
• Spagetti hoops on toast with grated cheese
• Fish fingers, chips and peas with tomato sauce
• Sausage, egg and chips
• Tomato soup with cheese on toast
• Jacket potato with tuna fish

I have also realised nothing on this list is particularly healthy. Such is life.

When I'm feeling healthy, happy, sociable, I enjoy much more adult palates. Honest.

Media mix up

It is my day off today. I left my house at 10am to get the bus into Bristol, do a bit of shopping for my friend's birthday present before coming home, washing the kitchen floor, hoovering and dusting the rest of the house and changing the bedroom sheets. Then I had lunch, made a cake and blew up some balloons. I am a healthy, active 22 year old woman. Everywhere I look, billboards, supermarkets, TV, radio, MAGAZINES (though I don't buy them, doesn't stop you looking at the front covers) - everywhere talks about losing weight, eating less salt, doing more exercise etcetc. So I'm watching Living TV (I'm done with chores now, time for some tea) and there is a program about how thin celebrities like Victoria Beckham, Misha Barton got in 2009. How dangerous it is to be that thin and how awful they look. What's the next advert? America's Next Top Model showing 12 rake thin girls all DYING to get on the catwalk.

I don't understand. On the one hand we're supposed to be cooking from scratch but for God's sake don't use salt. Eat healthy, three meals a day. On the other you've got the celebs who talk about how much cabbage soup or whatever the hell they're throwing up and how great they look.

Media - decide. In my opinion, eat something for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Have a cup of tea in between and if your whole meal is beige, maybe add some colour. Make sure when you walk, you're out of breath. Take the stairs, not the lift. Dance around the house while you do the dusting. It can't be that difficult, to be healthy without the media forcing you to do this, but then do that when they change their mind.

And if you can see all your bones in your pelvis from the back - you have serious problems.

The Brilliance of Cats

This is Bobbi, in all his glory.

I am a catty person. Forget the namesake, for that was not deliberate.

I am desperate to write about my cat but fear the dreaded 'cutesy' attachment that follows writing about animals, in a way that reminds me of a girl I went to school with who had photographs of puppies and kitten all over her stationary. You know the one I mean?

Anyway, that fear leads me to write about Bobbi (yes, with an 'i', although I've no idea 'y'. Oh dear.) in a way that will hopefully appear enchanting, potentially amusing and not liable to send you running for the bathroom with images of huge kitten eyes and cutchy coo sounds following you all the way there.

I shall bullet point.

• Bobbi is the most cuddliest cat I've ever met. FACT. I carry him in my arms like a baby. He will jump on your lap even before you think 'where's the cat, my lap is cold' and then proceed to work his way up you until he feels he is close enough to settle down. This is usually in the shoulder or neck region where he can put his head under your chin. Optimum warmth, I'm assuming.

• He makes noises that the receptionist at the vets called 'Dinosaur noises' little bubbly sounds in his throat that vary between "I'm going to jump this distance between counter tops even if it kills me" to simply, "I'm HOME! I've been out five minutes but guys! Guys! I'm HOME!"

• Bobbi has complete, and utter faith in M and I that we will catch him if he falls. Not just falling from surfaces, furniture etc. But he will repeatedly stand on a lap and suddenly FALL OVER onto you, no matter how big your lap is or what position you're in. Then he will stay there, purring manically while we position him back onto ourselves. Incidentally, we find this hilarious. I realise it may be more of a visual thing.

• He's really soft. I'm talking, rabbit fur, those furry slippers you used to get, the softest fricking thing you've felt in ages. That's how soft Bobbi's fur is. He doesn't care where you stroke him either. My favourite place is his feet. He'll let me hold his paws and stroke the pads without putting his claws out, they're really warm.

Ok, that's probably enough. But it's more to say that he has become an extension of us as a couple, that when we're together in the evenings or the mornings, if Bobbi's not around, it's weird. He sleeps in his bed for half the night then comes up to us and sleeps in between us, stretched out so either one of us is spooning him. He is the perfect cat, and proof that you can get a kitten for 30 quid from some freaky family in Bristol and they'll be fine. Better than fine.

Bobbi Fine. Actually his official name is Bobbi Woolley but when I tried to explain to the vets that he had 'taken my boyfriends' surname, it all got very confusing. I started getting called into the room as 'Miss Woolley' ooh er.

Blogging about not blogging

I'm going to tackle a theory I think only I am suffering from. Does nearly a three year writer's block exist? Or am I, lets be honest, kidding myself?

Before I started my oh-so-useful-and-expensive Creative Writing DEGREE, I used to write short stories, wobbly poems and endless articles. I then started my degree, spent the first year writing odds and ends in between my course requirements and then all seemed to die out. Literally. Oh, I was still writing, but nothing that I wasn't absolutely supposed to do to gain marks. It was like the ideas part of my mind had been given a damp blanket and the kindling fire went out. No more ideas. No more writing. I was hoping that after graduating, with all the pressure to write something decent off my back, it would all come tumbling out again. But so far, no such luck.

It's like every idea I think of (for there have been one or two, I'll admit it) there is a little Idea Marshall stopping me with a quick 'thats just not good enough, soldier' and the idea fizzes out into nothingness.

Oh dear.

So, here I am. Blogging about not blogging. Because, my dears, every idea I think might be any good, gets turned around in my sad little mind and undermined. (oooh...)

But maybe this will help, maybe I'll stop worrying and just, for the hell of it, write my ideas as they come no matter what that stupid bloke in my head says (what's he doing there anyway? Surely there are better minds to worry about - there are not and don't call me Shirley) and let you all judge me accordingly. No one ever got anywhere worrying what other people thought, right?

Shame. I blame my degree. HA! £22,000 later and she blames the degree for not writing.. jesus...

Where have I beeeen??

Dear readers,

Only my sincere apologies will do for the length of time I have been away from my keys. Since graduating (2:1, thank you very much) I've managed to get myself unemployed, relocated, employed, employed again, and again, and er, again. M and I are currently situated in Bristol, in a terraced two bedroom house with a garden and our little addition, Bobbi. Don't panic, he's our gorgeous, hilarious kitten.

I'm working, are your ready for this? Three/four days a week in Culpeper - a herbalist/aromatherapist shop in Bath selling oils and soaps and oh-so-natural products. I'm learning a lot and generally having a lovely time with three lovely ladies I work with.

In the meantime, I'm also still working at the Walrus and Carpenter, although it's still only one night a week and I'm not sure I want to keep it yet.

I'm modelling again for my nice old ladies, last week they had me dressed in pink red and orange against a red and pink background - groovy.

Oh, and I started a new job in Colston Hall last night, waitressing and bar work. It's lovely, hard work but so entirely different from the Walrus it made a pretty nice chance. Better pay too. Not that I don't like the Walrus, but this will be more convenient being in Bristol, and my old school friend has moved to Brizzle and is working there too!

Er... latest on our film stuff.

I filmed my cousin's half Muslim wedding last week - edit's going pretty well, although the ceremony was a little disappointing what with a stroppy toddler banging her feet against the wooden floor, and everyone standing up ruining my shot. But still, learning through trial and error and all that. Next time I might be able to charge for it.

So! That kind of sums it all up, from now I can write about the smaller things rather than trying to keep you all up to date all the time.

Until the next time,

Kat x

Ok. So where was I? There's been a huge gap in my posts I know, I'm sorry.
Recent news: I am about to hand in my final project! Exciting/Terrifying not sure which yet. I am also house hunting, currently unsuccessfully but we'll get there.

I feel this has all been a tiny bit too easy, I've not been having sleepless nights, hair falling out or anything.. I have contracted a strange stomach ache that seems to appear randomly and only go away when I go to bed, it lasted about 9 hours yesterday. Strange.

Aside from that everything seems to be going well, just got to tidy up the loose ends I suppose.

We have a new commission - Alan Ogg the Egg Man wants to meet up with us to discuss a promotional DVD of his egg incubators to send to schools in September, sweet work!

This was just a quicky, will post more next time. Must run - got to finish my degree don't you know!

Meh.

I've been putting off adding a new post. There doesn't seem a lot to report on. I'm nearly there - 27 days and I will have handed in my final deadline. I'm surprisingly calm, everything seems very under control. I'm onto my last drafts of my fiction and script, I've got one more critical commentary to do and just finish the films and tidy all the paper work up. Not that much really, to do in a month. Then it's my birthday and I'll be 22 and done.

M is freaking out - he's in the studios nearly every night at the moment polishing his songs and it's painful to watch him panic yet again. I think I'm more excited about him getting out than me - it's been such a struggle for him to get motivated enough to do some work, he just doesn't have any fire for it anymore. If he ever did. It would just be lovely for him not to come home stressed out and complaining about deadlines and tutors and beating himself up about not doing enough work all the time. But he doesn't do enough, and he knows it. It's just hard to not nag and look like the baddy.

We set up the final time lapse for Iain Haysom this afternoon and took him into the music labs to do the voice over for the films. It went incredibly smoothly - the man is a natural! He also loved the films and I think once the final polish goes on with the v/o and all the little extras we're going to add in it will all look beautiful and I'll be proud to hand a selection of the films in to Nic.

Bristol Festival of Ideas man invited M and I to the dinner after the prize giving next week - free supper! Always up for extra perks of a job! Which is the other film? Oh yes, the hateful teahouse film which really isn't so hateful except that its taken SO long to finish. M is writing the music for his 'writing for tv' module so that should be done soon.... So nearly there!

Then what?

New Plan, Plan B, C.. D.. where are we now?

New plan. There's no bloody way we're moving to London without jobs. That won't work. However, in theory we could stay in SW at the jobs we have part time, pick up a few more and continue with MiKat Productions until this shitty recession starts moving and there might perchance be some more 'career' jobs going. No one needs runners at the moment apparently. So, I've decided to chill-the-crap out and stop worrying. Everyone else I know is going off travelling, picking up other courses or when asked replies a simple 'ugh, dunno really.' Why should I be the only one having sleepless nights over a potential lost career move?

I shall remain happy and poor and maybe by being happy and poor eventually someone will realise I'm a nice hardworking person who isn't kicking up a fuss and want me to work for them. Maybe. Meanwhile, M and I have been half heartedly looking at houses in Bristol. We can get a 2 bedroom HOUSE for less than we're paying for the flat. Mental. Plus we could really do with an extra room if we're going to seriously look at freelancing to live on.

Some very nice news, over the Easter weekend M went home and spoke with his Dad, whom M is carrying out his legacy of sound editing. David told him that as he is planning to retire, he would happily send HALF his work to M in Bristol. For monies. David has been working all his life as a sound editor and has a heap of clients, recently his latest work includes Stevie Wonder's live DVD, The Killers and Girls Aloud. (Who can't sing, but we knew that.) Good eh?

Oh, and I have an 'informal interview' tomorrow with Suited and Booted for some runner work over 10 days next month. They're a community based production company in Bath currently working on an NHS Stop Smoking campaign. Not quite sure how I would fit it in with all this uni work but let's worry about that if it comes to it.


Things are picking up, we did the micro-biology film with Iain Haysom last week, nice and smoothly it went too. Will log hopefully tomorrow if I can get into the lab... got a commission with a guy to film the 'Bristol Festival of Ideas' Literary Prize (http://www.ideasfestival.co.uk/?p=276) Me and a camera plus a free supper! Nice.

All is well at the moment, only a few weeks left to cram all my uni work in, and horrifically it feels suspiciously like I've burnt myself out... 3 years of hard slogging and my final push just won't come. I know I need to get down and write, I know I could do really well, but things just keep cropping up and procrastination has turned into denial. It's horrible, I need to escape. Maybe I'll just take my laptop somewhere where I can't do anything but write, no food, no tea, no filmaking, no editing, no nothing.

Job Hunting part 2 (This could turn into a saga)

I didn't get the job at BDA either. A 'recruitment freeze' she called it. Joan Dunlop's email sounded genuinely sorry, they're not hiring any more runners at the moment.
On the plus side (there always has to be a plus side) this means I won't be packing up M and the gorgeous flat and moving to London right this second. I can breathe a little and concentrate on uni while still applying for jobs left right and centre. It also means I might be able to spend the summer doing random jobs as well as maybe some more MiKat stuff and going for runner jobs on small shoots, usually I can't go for them 'cos I don't have enough time. Maybe maybe.

Filled in an application for Talk Back Thames today, emailed a distant relative who works for BBD London and last week phoned a ga-zillion production companies offering myself to them. Fun. Still, no responses yet, but I will phone them next week and be all, like, 'didja get my cv like?' -sigh-

Started my Swap My Mum script today for Writing for TV.. it's taken me ages to get started because you're made to do treatment after treatment, scene-by-scenes, step-by-steps until you're so sick of your own idea that you can't even be arsed to write the damn thing. So I decided that as I will be handing in all the garb, I'd start the script where my scene-by-scene leaves off, make it a bit more interesting. So I'm starting half way through and just pretending that the first half is pure genuis. That the characters are already well formed and likable. That the plot as worked up til now and audiences are literally gasping for the next installment of Swap My Mum. Meanwhile it's actually coming out a little bit er.. tame. I'm hoping it gets better.

Job Hunting

SO. I didn't get the job with the BBC. They sent an email saying like, no thanks but like, thanks anyway, yeah?

So I'm back on the hunt and I've phoned loads of companies in London and Bristol 'cos now I'm really confused with where I want to end up and actually I think I'd be happy anywhere as long as I'm earning over £10k and I'm with M and I'm safe.

Meanwhile I'm going to attempt to put my stuff up somewhere without it getting nicked. Ie my scripts from years gone by, my showreel etc. I'll see if I can do it on here.

Meanwhile if anyone hears of a nice Runner job in Bath, Bristol, Brighton or London LET ME KNOW.

Chars.

The BBC interview

So yesterday was my BBC interview at White City in London. Had to be there for 1pm, and decided to go back to Mum's on Tuesday night so I wouldn't be doing crazy expensive travelling like I did last week, and she could come to London and go shopping while I went in.

I was so nervous I thought I was going to sick up on my shoes.

Walking into the White City main building with 'British Broadcasting Corporation' in 10 ft letter on the building was pretty awesome. The inside is exactly as you would expect it to be, all glass and shiny floors and colourful chairs. The receptionist man wasn't very friendly but everyone else was. There were 8 of us being interviewed, over 3000 people applied and they were interviewing 140 to get about 40 jobs. So we were pretty good getting to this stage, they said.

The other potentials were all kind of like me, we all got on really well and I wasn't over or under dressed - I needn't have panicked so much.
We were taken into a small conference room with 4 assessors in each corner just sort of.. watching us. We were given a task we had to read through alone for 15 minutes and then discuss for 45. The task was to decide out of a load of holidays which 3 we would choose and which order for a new BBC 3 travel program taking into consideration economic climate, price and how it would look for a pilot. It was really fun and we did the task in the time without anyone getting upset or anything.
Then we had to go in for an interview, two on one, where they just asked some really simple questions like 'why do you want to be a runner?' and 'what challenges would you face and how would you deal with them?' stuff like that. I think it went ok, I just tried to make sure they knew how enthusiastic I was and that I would start as soon as I could and could do everything they wanted me to. That kind of crap.
Lastly was a written excersise where we had to come up with a TV programme and decide what time it would be on, audience and channel etc. Well, as I'm doing a Writing for TV module I kind of already had that covered and wrote down my 'Swap My Mum' comedy drama idea. Was that cheating? I guess not.. but I was uber prepared for it without meaning to be.

All in all, I think I did pretty well, I can't have done any more than I did so even if I don't get it at least I got an interview and had a crack at it.

Fingers crossed.

The Interviews

I know how excited you are to hear about my interview... it went well, I think. All relaxed and not at all scary, my nervousness was all for nought. I think I can really see myself at BDA, everyone is so friendly and the work is amazing, I'd be really proud to work for them.
Then, as I was sitting in the reception of my interview I got a phone call from the BBC Runner Pool offering me an interview - I got shortlisted! So next Wednesday I'm going back up to London to take part in a 4 hour session with a written exam, a group activity and then the actual interview. Arrrghhhhh! What the hell do I wear for that?!

So... I'm pretty sure I won't get the BBC job, I mean that would just be silly. Still, wouldn't say no...

I don't mind, just someone offer me a job, please?

Get your Freak On

Count down until the interview - we have 4 days people!

On another note related but not entirely, I passed the Final Cut Pro 101 exam today! I can now put on my CV that I am Apple Certified. Hazzah! Also, MiKat might have got ourselves another commission, although apparently in Derby so we'll see how that pans out. Basically, it seems like things are hotting up. I have loads of writing work to do and loads of film work to do which although is pretty scary it's really nice having lots to do, it feels so much better than just hanging around waiting. You know?

Anyway, one of my bestest girls is coming to stay for the weekend so apart from forcing her to help me come up with funnies for my tv script, I plan to do nothing but laugh, eat and drink cocktails. Next weekend M has one of his bestests coming to stay so it will be a proper hothouse for the next week!

Wish me luck for Wednesday... eek!



Which one could be coming to stay?

Booty boot boots

I have just spent a large, fairly astonishing amount of money on the most gorgeous boots in the world.

Ta da!

Ok biggest news!!

I've myself an interview with BDA! On 4th March at 11am.. Eek! I emailed Joan Dunlop directly and she asked me to come to London to talk to her and to bring any work I was proud of. That is an interview right? She also said she wanted us to discuss my 'career' haha!

We've also found an area of London that we wouldn't be unhappy living in, for a reasonable price! It's still in South London but its Norwood Junction area, which is actually exactly where my Mum grew up - freaky.

I'm feeling so much more confident about things, and on 4th, M and I will go and have a look at the area to get a feel for stuff before we start looking a flats.

Woop woop!

Kat x

Most exciting job lead yet

So M and I had the conversation I've been dreading, what to do if either of us gets jobs away from each other? I.e. If I get a job in Bristol and he gets one in London. London has this huge shadow looming over me left over from Goldsmiths and it's mainly that reason I want to stay away. On the other hand, there is more work in London, more opportunities and international projects... so anyway. I think we realised that we'd both probably be better off job wise if we thought about London. SO I phoned my pals at BDA (Bruce Dunlop Associates) where I did some work experience last year. When I phoned the receptionist Kt was really super excited to hear I was looking for a runner job with them and said she'll pass my CV onto Joan Dunlop with a glowing report!

This is all very exciting, as I know everyone there and know it's a really good company and I could totally be good at the job.

Still.... I love Bath. And my flat. Woe.

21 going on 31

The Day I Realised I was Old

And It Was Ok.

Went out to Blue Rooms in Bath last night for John's birthday. We lasted about 2 hours, before John had started DJing and we left just as our friends turned up in one big, drunk group.

We had sat, we had drank drinks and chatted chat and then we got tired and had to work today so went home to bed.

We're 21 years old.

This hurt. I realised in one of those swirly, head hurting, vacuum type moment that we are so young and so old at the same time. M and I have been together for over four years and we live an incredibly happy, domestic life where we cook and I clean and we do our own coursework and make films. It's gorgeous, but it's about ten years before our time.

We live like a married couple in our 30s. We rarely go out, our socialising consists of going to the local pub and having people over for supper. Lovely, but lame.

But is it lame? I'm happy. So happy. Happier than I've ever been in my whole life 'cos finally I belong with someone who is closer to me than I am. We fit, it's that simple.

So now it's just a matter of waiting for our friends to catch up with us I guess. I worried and worried and then I talked to Oli at Paintworks and he said he has been in exactly the same position. He met his Mrs when they were 16 and went all through college and uni together. Now they're married and expecting a baby. Their friends are just catching up.

So be it. I'm happy, I've just got to wait for everything to find what I've found.

How to become the woman I want to be..

I hate exercising. Always have. Playing games, walking, hiking, swimming, anything that involves a teeny amount of interaction with other people or getting from a-b is fine. But THE GYM is evil. But, as we must, especially after Christmas and trying to cram as much of my Mum's home cooking into my stomach as is physically possible, I went to THE GYM.
I think the main problem I have is that it's so bloody boring. No matter how cool and upbeat my ipod is, all I actually look at is the clock counting down the seconds for when I can stop running on the dreaded treadmill. Or I look at my wobbling legs and try to imagine how, if I ran for longer, they might not wobble as much. Either/or... whatever.
Anyway, today's session on the mill ended pretty quickly as I realised there was a legs bums and tums class about to start. My GYM is basically just one room with mirrors and the machines are round the edge. Its also a women's only GYM. So there I am, just about remaining upright on the mill when a load of women start to gather. I figured I'd join in, I want to get my legs to stop wobbling right? So I join the class and realise very quickly that the teacher, unlike my Pilates teacher who is just lovely and kind and sweet, this teacher is MEAN. She wouldn't let us wimp out, and I pride myself on wimping out. No, really the class was great, I sweated buckets and my legs are killing me, so it must be good. Right?
Anyway.

Going to work tonight so that'll be a whole 'nother work out cos the restaurent is made of stairs.
I hope its worth it, I thought exercising was supposed to make you feel good?

This and That, So Far

I meant this blog to be a record of the last few months at Uni and therefore, the last few months of nice before the Real World begins.

So, so far, on the job front, nothing much. But I have got my cables down, my seeds sown, my feelers out, tenticles a-searching etc etc. Walk Tall Media have said they'll meet with me but work experience MIGHT be available, maybe. Nic has kindly agreed to give my CV to Touch Productions, I have signed up with WorkinTV although filling out their little CV form thing was incredbly uninspiring and frankly, quite depressing. Having to catergorise myself and tick boxes and stuff is... quite sad.

The main problem I have, that a lecturer I was talking to today pointed out, is that I don't really know what area of production I want to go into. Feature films would be amazing, but I feel that's sort of a dream I will never reach, not wanting to go London an' all.. TV would be great, although if I got stuck on something like Deal or No Deal or Big Brother I might just shoot myself. News, not so much.. but equally I'd be very happy in radio. Which one?? I figured I'd go in for anything, but if anyone actually asks me.. maybe I could say 'feature films would be the dream but I'd be very happy in TV' Does that sound on top of things enough? With the lecturer today I think my initial reaction when he asked was that sound that might be 'I dunno' if you squished it all together. 'Eyeaoh'. Oy.

I shouldn't really be worrying, I've still got 5 months until graduation. That's ages! Especially as I'm starting now. Right?

On a more domestic note, M and I are going to Paris for the weekend from 29th-2nd Feb and I am SO excited! Never been before, all I want to do is walk, look, eat and drink. Take it all in and then sleep somewhere cosy and romantic. Haven't found anywhere in our price range and nice yet, but we've got the tickets and the insurance and we'll find somewhere eventually.

Did you have a nice Christmas?