As a bride, I believe I'm expected to be blushing, giggly, incredibly excited at all times and obviously, probably, not taking the piss out of the massive hoo-ha surrounding weddings... this is hard for me. So when my Mum asked the question I'd been expecting (but by no means encouraging) 'Shall we go to this Wedding Fair?' I knew in my heart I couldn't say no. As a daughter. As an only daughter, and her first born, I believe it's only fair to go to the fair and take advantage of doing 'bridal' activities even when my first instinct is to run away!
As it happens, it wasn't too bad. I had visions of being crammed into a crowd full of baying women, eying up each other's engagement rings and grabbing haphazardly for free goodies from stall holders. It wasn't like that at all, shockingly everyone was terribly sensible. Except me, obviously.
I got the giggles (proper ones too) when a florist forced me to hold a bouquet.
"Hold it lower. Lower. You're a bride, why are you laughing? Are you really getting married?"
A girl (child) selling herself as a make-up artist forced me to sign up to her raffle for 50% off her bridal make-up trial or something. She had no website, no pictures of her work, there was a huge woman sitting on her stall eating pies which I can only assume was her mother BUT that wasn't the worst thing.
I took the pen she brandished at me to write down my name and e-mail address (yes, I'm cheap, I will sign up to anything if it means I might get something for free) and it was then that I noticed she had warts on her fingers. At least 3 on her middle finger alone! Proper ones too, like boys had at school. She's not coming anywhere near my face with those toady digits, I can tell you.
On a general cleanliness note, the other horrible thing I came across at the fair was another girl selling wedding rings. Now, if you know that all day, you'll be pointing at, holding and generally showing off wares that ARE WORN ON YOUR FINGERS, would you do it with thick layers of black grime wedged under each and every fingernail? And would you then keep your chipped blue nail varnish on those filthy fingers? Good god.
These were, to be honest, the only bad things I could find about the event. Mum and I had a lovely time trying on hair accessories and trying free samples, we came away with lots of goody bags, bundles of reading material and a sense that we were actually doing really well, organisation wise, as we kept finding ourselves saying 'sorry - we've got a photographer/venue/dress' and 'no thank you, we don't want a magician/balloons/marque hire/midget'.
To top it all off, I later met Fiancé in the pub and he turned to me with genuine enthusiasm and said 'Tell me all about it! What was it like? Did you get any good ideas?' Bless him!
On a general cleanliness note, the other horrible thing I came across at the fair was another girl selling wedding rings. Now, if you know that all day, you'll be pointing at, holding and generally showing off wares that ARE WORN ON YOUR FINGERS, would you do it with thick layers of black grime wedged under each and every fingernail? And would you then keep your chipped blue nail varnish on those filthy fingers? Good god.
These were, to be honest, the only bad things I could find about the event. Mum and I had a lovely time trying on hair accessories and trying free samples, we came away with lots of goody bags, bundles of reading material and a sense that we were actually doing really well, organisation wise, as we kept finding ourselves saying 'sorry - we've got a photographer/venue/dress' and 'no thank you, we don't want a magician/balloons/marque hire/midget'.
To top it all off, I later met Fiancé in the pub and he turned to me with genuine enthusiasm and said 'Tell me all about it! What was it like? Did you get any good ideas?' Bless him!
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